Uh yeah, so it’s been a while…
Why I Stopped Blogging
It’s the classic story, really. Girl packs up her little condo and moves from the big city to the country with her hubby, falls so in love with her quaint new little life that she dives head first into a blog so she can share her passion with the world, then…life (and not the quaint part). Yup, that’s pretty much where it ended. Life. Routine, 9-5, the winter blues, writer’s block, blog envy , lack of motivation; you name it, I had it and I couldn’t even force myself to put “pen to paper, ” even though I knew how happy writing made me feel. Days passed, months passed, then like, ohhhh, I dunno, over a year and a half passed (hangs head in shame) and BOOM – here we are (well, here I am). I guess I really just didn’t think I had anything to write about (well mainly I didn’t think I had anything to write about that people wanted to read); it was my biggest roadblock and why I stopped blogging. I kept thinking (and comparing), “no one can possibly be interested in reading about the day-to-day reality of life on our farm” and “look at the bazillions of beautifully designed blogs out there, with photos of curated million dollar mansions, closets bursting at the seams with the latest fashion trends, and whirlwind trips around the globe; who in their right mind wants to read about the weeds in my garden or know that the cottage project is taking WAY longer than we planned?” No one as far as I was concerned.
Also, turns out that I’m a perfectionist (surprise! to those of you who know me). I needed the blog to be 100% PERFECT (what in the hell is a perfect blog you might ask?). You know the one, professionally styled photos, witty and relevant posts, with loads of engaged social media followers. I needed that. So, apparently, and this might come as a shock to you, but that doesn’t just happen. All of those bloggers that I follow on social media didn’t just wave a magic Instawand and wind up with a business and a community of followers. Turns out you gotta work HARD for it. (There’s a pretty big convo happening over on Instagram about this very thing right now. Check out Sparkle Media’s blog post to read more about it). So for me, that meant sucking it up, letting go of the fact that the site design isn’t as top-notch as I told myself it had to be and just putting some content out there. Build it and they will come, or so the saying goes.
Oh, and probably definitely WAY more importantly, I had to ask myself, why I needed that. Perfection that is. And after being honest with myself, turns out it was a few things. Sure, the OCD side of me was like, “if it’s not just right, I absolutely can’t publish it,” but hiding behind that shady little mask of perfectionism was really just the fear of being vulnerable, being rejected and not comparing to everything else that’s already out there. What if I kept posting and no one read my stuff? Hasn’t it all already been done before and WAY better than I could ever even imagine of doing it, so why risk it? And, doesn’t the number of likes equal what an amazingly awesome, successful and happy human you are, which meant if I posted and got no likes, I was a failure…at life? WAIT. WHAT?!!! Uhhhh… So, I just recently somehow ended up becoming closer to 40 than 30 years old (:| < ya, that happened while I was away too) and surely, at this point in my life, I know that the number of likes is not a measurement of happiness and success…right? Well ya, I guess so. I mean, yes, I do know that, but it still stopped me dead in my tracks, even if it took me this long to admit it.
Why I’m Back
Just last week, after reading my 2348769th whiny text message about what I need to do to get back into blogging, one of my very best (and patient and honest < thank you!) girlfriends asked this:
Why did you start the blog in the first place?
and then said
You’re not going to become an influencer overnight.
Ha. Good question. Annnnd, interesting point… But, did I really need someone else to remind me of this stuff? Turns out that, yep, I did.
Why did I start the blog? Welp…I love writing. The end. That’s it. I just really love writing. Always have. (I even got a writing award in grade 6…annnnnd I may still have a copy of the certificate>don’t judge). I mean don’t get me wrong, the whole idea of this thing somehow morphing into more than a hobby isn’t so bad, but since, as I’ve learned, that sort of thing doesn’t just happen, for now I’m just going to enjoy it for what it is. A space where I can be creative. And in the end, if it just winds up being a journal of sorts, I’ve decided that that’s ok and that I’m no less of a human for not having thousands of followers, likes, re-posts and DMs.
And a Farm Update
Ok, so now that I’ve unloaded all of that, lemme just hop on up from the psychiatrist’s couch and give you the scoop about what’s been going on around here since my last post.
- We lost Angel, our female goat. Well, we didn’t lose her so much as she was taken from us. You see, when you live in the country, surrounded by acres and acres of forest, you are also surrounded by predators. Predators like cougars. Hungry cougars for whom goats are an appetizing meal. I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that in the end we lost a pet and it really sucked.
- We got new goats! Oliver was SUPER upset after Angel was killed and we knew he needed a new pal. So we got him two! Neil and Pete joined the family last May. It took everyone a while to get into a new groove, but now they’re like a little gang and can often be found near the fence at the front of the property makin’ eyes at the lady goats across the street.
- We rescued three little big pigs! That moment when you get a text from your hubby in the middle of a workday that says, “Do you want to get pigs…” (Am I the only one with that moment?). And you’re like ummmmmmmmmm…do we know anything about pigs? Fast forward to three-ish weeks later and we’re transporting two 2000ish lb Vietnamese pot belly pigs from Richmond (about an hour away) in the back of our pick-up to the farm. Joel brought the third one home two days later. We’re now proud pig parents to Norm, Hubert and Dolly (yes, we have Dolly Bulldog and Dolly Pig). I never imagined loving pigs, but they really are hilarious (and so smart and super clean).
- I got bangs. And now I’m growing them out. I loved them. For like 2 weeks. Then they got all cow-licky and wild and were in my eyes and then I kept putting them up in a little clip. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
- We survived last winter. So yes, I know, all my Maritime friends and family are rolling their eyes right now, but seriously, it was the WORST. The snow (and then the rain) wouldn’t stop and we’re just not equipped for that kind of thing out here! We have ONE pathetic little snow shovel for heaven’s sake! We do both have four-wheel drive vehicles now, so at least we’ll be able to get up the driveway this year if Mother Nature decides to test us again (insert my own eye roll here).
- My brother and his wife and kids came to visit!!!!!!! < yes, it was THAT exciting! I could go on and on and on about how much I LOVVVVE these guys and how ecstatic I was that they made the journey (and oh what a journey it was) across the country, but I think you get it. They hung out with us for two weeks last August and I we did lots of eating and bb gun target shooting and card playing and laughing and plumbing (well the plumbing was mostly my brother, but it equaled laughing and memories for me). I think they should move to Mission.
- I took an organic gardening course and I taught myself to knit (well YouTube taught me how to knit). And thanks to my new mad skills, our garden is SO much better this year and Joel and I are outfitted with toques for the winter (pats self on back).
- I visited our good friends Kenny and Kristy, who own Westwave Fishing (the company Joel is a fishing guide for) last summer. They live in beautiful Queen Charlotte City on BC’s Haida Gwaii island. I got to spend an awesome few days catching up with our friends and out on the water with Joel catching our fill of salmon, ling cod and crab.
- We got a tractor! It’s a John Deere. It makes us feel more legit. And I use it to mow the pasture and fields > like a boss! I love that thing! The previous homeowners are probably saying “told ya so” right about now because we were like “naww, we won’t need a tractor” when they told us that it’s basically a must and we could buy theirs along with the house. We caved when the weeds and grass in the field in front of the house were almost waist-high.
Well there you have it. The very long explanation for why I stopped blogging and the reason that I’m back, along with a small update of some of the goings on around here since I last checked in. I’m gonna do my best to make it stick this time and I’m hoping that you guys will tag along.